“I will extol You, my God, O King; and I will bless Your name forever and ever. Every day I will bless You, and I will praise Your name forever and ever. Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised; and His greatness is unsearchable. One generation shall praise Your works to another, and shall declare Your mighty acts. I will meditate on the glorious splendor of Your majesty, and on Your wondrous works. Men shall speak of the might of Your awesome acts, and I will declare Your greatness. They shall utter the memory of Your great goodness, and shall sing of Your righteousness.” – Psalms 145:1-7.
My day was over! My body, heart, and soul were exhausted! I had done my best to keep a positive attitude throughout the day, but, lately I find it hard most days. The news of the day is filled with the coronavirus pandemic and the “social distancing” we must do from one another. Sports activities, restaurants, churches, libraries and so much more are shutting down. Traffic on the streets is becoming a little less. Appointments and meetings are getting cancelled. Grocery stores have become “zoo’s” as shelves are emptied and people fight to get the last of that day’s supplies. Many people are quarantined in their homes; while others are getting very sick from this virus that is spreading around our world. I never thought I would ever see something like this in my lifetime. It’s crazy!
My husband and I are currently working through a period of surgical recovery, with limited income and uncertain days ahead. Major decisions have to be made that are exhausting to think about let alone imagine what the future might hold for us. There’s all the usual things that still need to be done – beds to be made, people and dog to feed, laundry to get done, rooms to dust, floors to mop, food to cook, weeds in the yard to pull and house repairs to consider. There’s people we would love to see, but can’t due to the “social distancing” and thus the battle of “cabin fever” and isolation is on. There’s new limits and precautions to observe in order to be safe. Our life, as we once knew it, has changed. And some days (most days, if I’m really honest!) it’s all so very exhausting!
But now, my day is done! I slipped out on the back porch, sat down and let out a tired sigh. It was this kind of quiet I had longed for all day. As I sat there, I looked up into the sky. Beautiful! I enjoyed the sights of the stars and the moon shining through a few clouds that still lingered in the night sky. I could hear the owl “hooting” from up in the 40 foot pine tree that graces our backyard. Somehow, all this brought peace to my heart. I welcome peace!
And then, within that peaceful moment, my thoughts turned toward God. I thought about the crazy day, and rejoiced in the thought that God is the One who is in total control of all the chaos right now. His plan for me, for my life, for my marriage, for my home, for my ministry, for my community, for the world I live in – it’s all under His perfect and timely control. The thought of God’s perfect plan brings me great peace.
As I sat there, reflecting on God, and enjoying the beautiful night sky, a Bible verse popped into my mind. “Great is the Lord and greatly to be praised.” I once learned a little chorus with those words. I sang them softly, as I sat on the back porch, gazing into the night sky.
After a restful while, I went back into the house. I wanted my Bible. Now, where had I put it? The search was on. I had to find where in the Bible that verse was found. I don’t like to admit this, but my mind has a hard time remembering Bible references these days. I was just happy that I knew the verse. Anyway, I searched and soon, I found what I was looking for. Psalms 145:3. But then, something else really stood out to me as I read the entire chapter of Psalm 145. I know I have read this psalm many times before; but, on this particular night, these verses just jumped off the page at me. Like God was telling me something.
I noticed five (5) “I will”‘s written by the Psalmist David. Psalms 145 is a song written by David as a song of praise. It is not a song of praise to himself nor about himself, Nor is it written to someone else in his life. No, this is a song of praise that is directed to His gracious God. And in that psalm, he states five things that he will do. On this particular night, those five things inspired me. Allow me to share those five things with you, and expound a little bit about them.
#1 – “I will extol You” (verse 1) – According to Webster’s Dictionary, the word “extol” means “to praise in the highest terms; to magnify.” David’s heart’s desire was to praise and to magnify His God. David says that this praise was for “My God, O King.” With this “I will” David gives praise to his God, the King of his life. David magnifies His God, His King. And as you read the remainder of that Psalm, you realize that David had plenty to say about His God. Hmm, do I do that?
#2 – “I will bless Your name” (verse 2) – According to Webster’s Dictionary, the word “bless” means to “glorify”; “to invoke a divine favor upon a person or thing”; “to make happy”; “to endow as with a gift”. David said, “I will bless Your name forever and ever. Every day I will bless You.” Did you catch that? Every day! Forever and ever! David purposed in his heart and expressed it in the song of praise to His gracious God, that “I will” bless You. He didn’t say, I will bless you only when I feel like it or I will bless you on days I remember to. No! David’s heart’s desire was to get into the habit of blessing the Lord, His God, every day. Hmm, do I do that?
#3 – “I will praise Your name” – (verse 3) – According to Webster’s Dictionary the word “praise” means to “to express approval of someone or something as in an applause”; “to express adoration of”; “to commend one’s good work”. Praise was important to David! Again, his heart’s desire was to praise God often. He says, “Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised; and His greatness is unsearchable.” David recognized the greatness of God; the greatness of His handiwork in the things God created; the greatness of His love that He poured out often upon David; and the greatness of His deeds, in the things that He did for David. David acknowledged and praised His great God, stating that He is greatly to be praised. God deserves the praises of His people. David goes even further to say, “One generation shall praise Your works to another and shall declare Your mighty acts.” David wanted to teach the next generation how to praise God as well. Thus he wrote so many of the songs that we find in Israel’s songbook of praise. Even in our generations of today, we are still inspired to praise our God through the songs we sing, the words we speak, the thoughts we consider. Hmm, do I do that?
#4 – “I will meditate” (verse 5) – According to Webster’s Dictionary, the word “meditate” means “to engage in contemplative thought”; “to think about, to consider”. Meditation is good for the soul. Everyone needs time to quietly think about things. David knew he needed that time too. He chose to meditate upon His God. Just what, about God, did he meditate upon? He tells us, “I will meditate on the glorious splendor of Your majesty, and on Your wondrous works.” Hmm, do I do that?
#5 – “I will declare Your greatness” (verse 6) – According to Webster’s Dictionary, the word “declare” means “to assert positively or emphatically”; “to announce or state formally and solemnly.” David wanted to tell abroad the greatness of His God. He didn’t care what other people thought. He boldly announced to the world what he thought of his God. Hmm, do I do that?
David said, “I will extol; I will bless; I will praise; I will meditate; I will declare.” Those five things jumped out at me as I sat reading this psalm. I know in my head and in my heart that this is a really good thing to do during times of crisis, of uncertainty, and of chaos. But, I had to pause and ask myself this question: do I do that? In the midst of my circumstances, do I extol my God? Do I bless Him for the work He does in my life? Do I praise Him just because He is worthy of my praise? Do I meditate on Him, on His Word, often enough? Do I declare His greatness to those around me?
Do you want to know my answer? I’m guessing that I’m not the only one with this answer.
In all honesty, I have to answer that I do; I do all five of those things. But, I have to admit, that I do not do them nearly as often as I should. I could do a whole lot better. I want to do better at extolling, at blessing, at praising, at meditating, and at declaring my God. Why? Because, I agree with David. His God, my God, our God is “great and greatly to be praised.”
David, boldly and unashamedly, announces to many generations, through his writing of Psalm 145, what he thinks about His great God and King, the Lord of his Life. It’s his song of praise.
“The Lord is gracious and full of compassion, slow to anger and great in mercy. The Lord is good to all, and His tender mercies are over all His works. All Your works shall praise You, O Lord, and Your saints shall bless You. They shall speak of the glory of Your kingdom, and talk of Your power, to make known to the sons of men His mighty acts and the glorious majesty of His kingdom. Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and Your dominion endures throughout all generations. The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look expectantly to You, and You give them their food in due season. You open Your hand and satisfy the desire of every living thing.
“The Lord is righteous in all His ways, gracious in all His works. The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth. He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him; He also will hear their cry and save them. The Lord preserves all who love Him, but all the wicked He will destroy. My mouth shall speak the praise of the Lord, and all flesh shall bless His holy name forever and ever.” Psalm 145: 8-21.
I don’t know about you, my blog reader, but, I happen to love the way David praises His God. The sheer honesty of his heart before his God, is inspiring! I could truly learn a lesson or two from him. David has encouraged me to spend more time during these crazy days of life on earth with the God that I love.
“I will” extol, bless, praise, meditate upon, and declare the greatness of my God. “I will” do that a little louder, a little longer, a little more boldly and a little more unashamedly. For, “Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised!”
“Hear my prayer, O Lord, give ear to my supplications! In Your faithfulness answer me. . . My spirit is overwhelmed within me; my heart within me is distressed. I remember the days of old; I meditate on all Your works; I muse on the work of Your hands. I spread out my hands to You. My soul longs for You like a thirsty land.” Psalms 143: 1 and 4-6.
In those moments when I feel so overwhelmed with life and the circumstances I find myself in, help me to seek You. Give me a growing desire to spend more time with You.
As I spend those moments of peace and quiet with You, I pray dear God, that I may become overwhelmed by You. Overwhelm me with who You are! Overwhelm me with what You can do! Overwhelm me, my heart and my soul, with more of You!
I want to be overwhelmed by You, O God!
“My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress; I will never be shaken. . . Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress; I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; He is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge. . . One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that You, O God, are strong, and that You, O Lord, are loving. Surely You will reward each person according to what he has done.” Psalms 62:1-2, 5-8, 11-12 (NIV)
Oh, how my soul needed to hear those words today!
I read those words and instantly a precious song and an even more precious memory come flooding back to my mind. And, in that moment of remembrance I am encouraged, I am uplifted, I am blessed! Oh, please allow me the privilege of sharing my memory with you. May it encourage, uplift and bless all who read it.
In You Alone! My soul finds rests in God!
My body, heart and soul was anything but restful back in 2001-2002, when I was going through treatment for toxic mold poisoning. The diagnosis itself brought me no rest. My doctor had informed me that I had 14 different types of mold spores actively growing within my lungs and “gut” – all of which were at toxic levels. I so clearly remember hearing this overwhelming diagnosis just a few days before Christmas and “if we don’t start treatment today, you might not be alive by the new year.” I sat stunned as those words attempted to wrap themselves around my mind. “I have WHAT?”
For weeks, months actually, I was in pain! Constant never ending pain! It was the kind of pain that brings tears to your eyes and unrelenting agony to your body. It never stopped. Every inch of my body was covered with rashes, hives, sores, and blotches. I coughed and sneezed, itched and twitched my way through each and every day. My lungs struggled for every breath I took. Everything I ate tasted toxic and nasty. Every time I tried to sleep, I would burst into tears; I would allow those tears to take everything out of me, so my body would just collapse and sleep would finally come. I didn’t want to wake up again. I remember begging God to let me die. I just wanted a little relief from the pain and agony! I just wanted rest!
In You Alone! He alone is my Rock!
While I endured agonizing treatment to get rid of the toxic mold within the walls of my body. . . and while my husband and I endured countless trips to the doctor’s office and hospital and lab for bloodwork. . . and while I endured quarantine, isolation, loneliness that brought on the worst case of “cabin fever” ever. . . and while I missed life, work, church, parties, lunches and dinners out, birthdays, funerals, weddings, shopping trips and all the other good things life has to offer. . . and while I persevered . . . I learned what a ROCK I had in my God. My husband was my rock in so many ways. He walked with me through it all, the good, bad and the ugly of toxic mold poisoning treatments. Hubby listened to more rants and put up with more mood swings than I think he ever wanted to. He held tightly to my hand and passed on his strength. He held my aching body at times when all I could do was tremble with tears. Hubby put up with a lot and I could NEVER thank him enough for being a solid rock in my crumbling world. But God, He was the ULTIMATE SOLID ROCK. God was the One who held my heart. He bottled my tears and held them close to His own heart. God, the Rock, was who hubby and I rested upon to get us through the crisis.
In You Alone! God is my Fortress!
Yes, I had to bunker down in my house, making it my “safe” place to heal. We had to clear our house from everything chemical, scented, moldy and unkind to me and my body. That was some job, believe me! I have to give a shout out to some very special friends (and you know who you are!) who were kind enough to be “fragrant free” and come lend a hand with all that. Your help was greatly appreciated and, in helping, you ministered to me God’s love in amazing ways. Through you all, God showed me, in a fresh and precious way, what “special friends” really mean. You guys were then and still are amazing people! Thank you, thank you for loving me even when you saw me at my utter worst!!
My house became my safe haven, but my God became my fortress. God was and still is my place of refuge, my place of hiding, my place of security from the storms of life and the difficult crises that come out of nowhere. As I came running to God, day in and day out, hour by hour and moment by moment, I found welcoming arms. I was rapidly strengthened by His power and strength. His love poured out upon me within the walls of His fortress. I was helped. I was comforted. I was renewed in heart, body and soul.
In You Alone! I find my Comfort!
God’s lesson of Him being my comfort was delivered to me by a very special lady. With her permission I would like to share “our” story. Her name is Cathi too, only hers is spelled with a C. Cathi and I first met at a ladies retreat a few years before my diagnosis. We hit it off immediately; like we’d been friends forever. We talked about anything and everything, conversation was never a problem. We spent lunch dates together, prayed together and even worshiped God together. What God gave us in friendship was super special. Truly a gift from Him!
Well, with my going through treatment and being isolated, my friend wanted to do something special for me. I learned later that she had spent many days asking God for ideas, for that something special that she could do to help encourage me. That’s a true friend! God gave her the greatest idea ever, as only God can do!
Cathi called me one day, “Hey friend, can I come over to see you? I have something special I would like to bring to you!” No hesitation on my part, “Come on over!” She respected my “out of necessity” rule at the time to be as fragrant free as possible so that I didn’t react to anything she was wearing. I looked forward to her visit and wondered just what my friend was bringing over to me. I couldn’t wait for that “fragrant free” hug. I missed hugs. I missed people. I missed a lot at that time. “But, yippee yeah, Cathi’s coming.”
Oh, what a hug! What a smile! What a surprise!
My friend, Cathi, well, she loves to sing. God blessed her with a beautiful voice. And she uses that voice of hers to bring honor and glory to our God. The special gift that she brought me that day was a song!
Actually, she sang several songs. My very own mini concert! I tried to sing with her but had to give up, the coughing and tightness in the lungs, overtaking my body in painful agony. I was content to just listen. To each note. To each word. The sound coming out of her mouth was so melodic and beautiful. Each song carried a message straight from the heart of God. But there was one song. . . !
Oh, did that song get to me. The notes, the music, the sounds, the words, the voice – every bit of it hit to the core of my heart. And I cried! No, I bawled as Cathi’s special gift ministered its way to every nook and cranny of my soul. I know that I threw Cathi off a little with my tears and sobs. I’m surprised she could even sing at all. But, God enabled her to press on through her special song.
In You Alone!
That was the name of the song. Written in 1998 and sung by Kim Hill. And, oh wow! The ministry of this song is unbelievable. It has one powerful message. It is just what I needed to hear at that time of crisis in my life. It was the most special gift that a friend could give to me.
“You gotta record that song for me my friend,” I said to Cathi through the tears. “I want to listen to that again and again.” Bless her heart. She made me a cassette tape (that tells you how much life has changed since then!) and brought it by the house a few weeks later. I played that tape until it was totally worn out. And each time, my dear Cathi, you kept on ministering to my heart! I can never thank you enough for that special gift!
In You Alone!
I listened to and loved it then. And thanks to CD’s and YouTube, I can still listen to and love it now. Every time life throws a new crisis, a storm, a difficult circumstance my way, I turn to Psalm 62 and the music and words of “In You Alone!” and in that I am reminded of my special friend and our great God!
Here’s a connection to the song if you’d like to listen.
In You Alone! I survived toxic mold poisoning!
I have to honestly say, that while that year of treatment from toxic mold poisoning was the worst ever year of my life – physically, mentally, emotionally and even financially – it was the best year of my life spiritually. The very best!
God used my hubby, my friends and family, my circumstances to teach me so much about who HE is. I read His Word, the Bible, more than I ever have; I hung onto every word and it ministered to my heart. I listened to good solid Christian music, the words of which refreshed my mind and allowed me to sing in my heart when I couldn’t sing with my lips.
In You Alone! Oh Lord my God. You truly are my Rest, my Rock, my Fortress, my Refuge, my Salvation, my Comfort, my Hope! In You Alone!
Self talk is what we tell ourselves in our thoughts. Self talk is what we tell ourselves about the people in our lives, the experiences we have, the circumstances we are in, the decisions we have made. It is all the words that we say to ourselves all the time.
Sometimes self talk is good. When self talk is wholesome and positive, it can create good mood, heighten our self esteem, and bring about change. With good self talk, we can tell ourselves positive things about ourselves and about others that can strengthen our relationships. Positive self talk can motivate us into action, lead us towards helping others, help us in accomplishing our goals, and enable us to build a positive future. Self talk can be a very positive aspect of our lives.
On the other hand, negative self talk can be very destructive and harmful to us in so many ways. It can cause mood swings and slumps in attitude and outlook on life in general. Our self worth can plummet down into the pit of despair, making it difficult to cope with life and drag ourselves up out of the pit we created for ourselves. Our body will feel sluggish and out of sorts. Our will to accomplish even the smallest of tasks can feel flattened and lifeless. Even our actions can defeat us and turn against us, leading us onto destructive pathways.
All too often, I can find myself, if I’m not careful, falling into that trap of negative self talk. Whether I just keep those thoughts tucked tight inside my head, or I say them out loud, I am doing myself harm every time I circle that trap. Those “words” tug at me, trying to lure me into the trap of saying them over and over again, silently or out loud, to myself or to anyone else I wish to bring into my pity party.
I’m sure you are familiar with the “words” I am talking about. My guess is, that you, my blog reader, might have uttered these same words to yourself at some point of time. “I am so ugly.” “I am so stupid.” “Nobody loves me.” “Nobody wants me.” “I can’t do that.” “I’m such a failure.” Oh, and that mantra of negative self talk goes on and on and on! Sadly, once those words cross my thought pattern and flow out of my mouth, then I am trapped! Trapped in the cycle of believing my own self talk, believing the negative words that others utter about me. And, the more I repeat those words to self, the deeper I go into the pit of “poor me!”
For years, I have struggled with negative self talk, and trying to stay out of the pit that intentionally seeks to trap me in its never ending cycle of destruction. It hasn’t been easy. But I am finally learning that in the midst of that struggle, I need to hit my reset button. By that I mean, I need to reset my thinking. Change what I am saying to myself. Clean up my self talk.
That is where the amazing teaching from the Psalmist of God’s Word comes into play. God’s Word is my reset button. Reading it will change the thoughts and words that come from my mouth and my heart. I find great hope and encouragement in the words of Psalms 19:14. “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer.”
You see, when I am in the cycle of negative self talk, not only am I doing harm to myself, but also to those who are listening to me. The Lord my God, my Creator, is with me everywhere I go. He listens to every conversation I have. Whether those conversations are directed to Him, toward others, or in my own head and heart, my God is listening! He hears my self talk, whether it is positive or negative; He is listening!
So, whenever I say, “I am so stupid!” – my head and heart might want to believe that at the time I say it, and other people in my life might be telling me that I am stupid, but is it really true? NO! It’s not true! In all honesty, it’s insulting to the One who created me. Because He didn’t create me to be stupid, and He never sees me that way. So, why am I telling myself that?
And, whenever I say to self, “Nobody loves you, nobody ever could!” Well, that too, is just not true. The Lord my God, my Creator loves me more than anyone ever could. He loves me unconditionally! And He loves me forever, no matter what I do or how I feel or what I have accomplished in my life.
I am learning, whenever I’m circling that negative self talk trap, to say out loud to myself the words of Psalms 19:14. I want the words that come out of my mouth, to be words from my heart that I actually believe. I want the words that come out of my mouth to be pleasing to my God. And when I start saying the words of the precious psalm out loud to my God, then change happens. The negative becomes positive. The mood swings in the opposite direction, my motivation alters, my attitude improves, and my self esteem changes course. My self talk runs away from the pit.
I begin to say words that I actually believe. My self talk becomes words that are true and trustworthy and uplifting and positive. Words that remind me who I am to God. Words that honor the One who created me to be something different than negative. Words that lighten my heart, uplift my soul, and strengthen me as a person. I find myself saying, “You are loved, You are adored, You are redeemed, You are chosen, You are beautiful, You are worthy. Because in God’s eyes, I am all those things and so much more! Those are the words that are acceptable to the ears of the Lord my God! Those are the kind of words that make self talk a valuable thing, because those are the kind of words that changes me as a person.
So, with all that in mind, let me tell you a story – –
A few weeks ago, I went for a walk at a nearby park. I love to go there and walk laps whenever I have a lot on my mind, have decisions to make, have circumstances to sort through, or just need some fresh air when I’m upset about something. This park is one of my favorite places to practice my self talk, be it out loud or quietly in my heart as I walk.
On this particular day, I not only went to the park for some lap walking therapy, but I was also venting over some extremely negative talk that others had given to me. What was given to me were very hurtful words. Words that crushed my spirit, and made me doubt myself and my accomplishments. Words that stung to the very core of my being. Words that could never be taken back. Words that were set to do their destructive work in my thought processes. Words that made my steps heavy and cumbersome. Words that brought an unavoidable ache to my heart.
During the first couple of laps around the park, I rehearsed those words, over and over again, out loud, trying to determine if I wanted to believe them. Maybe the person who said them was right. Maybe I am that way. Maybe I am a total and utter failure, with nothing to offer anyone. Maybe I should just shut up and go away. Maybe… !
All of the sudden, I stopped dead in my tracks on that pathway. I just stood there for the longest time, unable to move forward. The words of Psalms 19:14 came washing over my heart and soul. With tears streaming down my cheeks, I began to say those words out loud, “May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable….” and I stopped. Wait! Wait just a moment. These words that I have been uttering are far from acceptable. They are hurting me! These words, that I am uttering are hurting me over and over every time I say them. They are hurting the very ears of my God as He listens to His child. I burst forth with a prayer to God, saying, “Oh Lord my God, I am circling that trap once again. I am seeking to believe what other people are telling me, when, what you want me to believe is that their words are not even true. Forgive me God for believing them, for rehearsing them over and over in my mind, for allowing that negative self talk to even roll off my tongue. Forgive me please my God!”
As I stood in the middle of the park’s pathway, I looked up to the heavens and I felt God’s presence. Right there, I experienced His forgiveness. I felt His loving arms, as I gained new strength. I knew in that moment, I could move forward.
With my next step, I became to recall to my mind, the words of the Lord my God that would honor and please Him. Words that would heal my wounded heart and soul. Words that would turn myself away from the pit, toward the Lord my God who is “my strength and my Redeemer.” Words that made God and my self smile once again. The words kept coming as I walked several more laps around the park. I was getting a great workout!
Well, unbeknownst to me, I was being watched this entire time. There, at the park, walking laps in the opposite direction, passing me often during my litany of self talk, was another lady about my same age. She stopped me. At first I was really embarrassed by what she had to say to me. “I’m sorry dear, but I just have to stop you and ask if you are alright?” Did she see my face turn red? Ugh, I was so embarrassed!
Before I could even answer, she continued. “I have passed you multiple times as we’ve walked this morning and I’ve listened to your self talk. At first you were pretty hard on yourself and I wondered what was wrong. Then I would pass you again and you were still going at it. I wondered if I should stop you and offer you some help, but I was afraid to interrupt you. Then I saw you stop. I passed by you then too and I realized that you seemed totally oblivious to anyone else around you. You were talking out loud and I couldn’t figure who you were talking to. Then the last two laps I have realized that you were talking to God. That’s when I began to pray for you, asking God to give you the help and peace that you needed. So, now I will ask, are you alright?”
Thankfully, this dear lady was willing to look past my red face of embarrassment, the tears streaming down my cheeks, the craziness of talking to myself out loud and she was able to see a person with a hurting heart. God bless her! I’m not sure how many laps we did that day, but she walked with me and I didn’t even know it. But, God bless her for caring!
It was then that we sat down on a park bench and began to talk to each other. I learned that she too does the self talk laps around the negative trap of destruction. Thank God I was not alone in that! I was able to share with her Psalm 19:14 and how I turned my negative thoughts and self talk towards words that God would accept. Words that would change my heart and thinking. Words that I could believe in.
She listened intently, shaking her head in agreement often. Then she looked at me and said, “But why, if you don’t mind my asking, why do you say those words out loud?”
I paused and thought for a moment, choosing my next words very carefully. I smiled at her and boldly said, “Because, sometimes my ears need to hear my mouth say what my heart truly believes.”
That, to me, is what self talk is all about!
Go on, say those words out loud to your self. Your ears need to hear your mouth say what your heart truly believes!
Go on, say those acceptable words out loud to the Lord your God. He is listening to you!
“Why do you stand afar off, O Lord? Why do You hide in times of trouble?” Psalms 10:1 (NKJV)
Is there any one else, besides me, that feels at times like God went out to lunch and left you standing all alone?
You know, that feeling like God isn’t really there. When you pray, and He seems silent. When you search for Him, but He seems to be hiding. When you go through difficulty, and He seems to have left you alone. When you are overwhelmed with life’s happenings, and He seems to have gone out to lunch.
Or, has He really gone out to lunch?
In your mind’s eye, think back to the last time when you felt that way. Let your mind go back to that moment when you were so overwhelmed by the powerfully traumatic event that life gave to you. I know, all too well, I know that it can be painful. And perhaps you really don’t want to go there. I totally get that, I do.
But, I would like to share with you, a powerful lesson that God taught me, at that very moment when I thought He had checked out on me in the midst of trouble and He seemed to go out to lunch. The lesson came to me as a simple reminder of a biblical truth I had known all my life. Yet this reminder, this lesson really changed my thinking during a recent event in my own life. As I share this, I pray it will help you too.
Think about the last overwhelming, difficult circumstances that was going on in your life. Think about that last time you wondered if God had left you. That time, when you thought He had abandoned you. That time, when you felt all alone, helpless and hopeless. Go ahead and identify your most recent upheaval, the blow you felt, the trauma you endured, the wound you are licking, the diagnosis received. Identify that “thing” that woke you up from that “everything is going smooth in life” dream you were having. Are you in that moment?
Did you call out to God at that time? “Where are you, God?” “Why have you left me here?” “How am I suppose to deal with this, God?” “Are you listening to me God?”
Did your heart sink, thinking that God had left you alone? Were you afraid of going at it by yourself? What if God walked away, and went to lunch?
In that moment, you must have felt all alone, powerless in fear and completely overwhelmed by the circumstances that life just dealt to you. Oh, I must honestly admit, I have felt that way too many times to count them. It truly is a horrible feeling!
BUT, let’s change our mindset for just a moment. This was my lesson learned. A much needed reminder in the form of a simple Bible truth. It was delivered with hopeful encouragement that blessed my heart.
Consider, for just a moment, that God was there in the fullness of that event that devastated your life!
The simple Bible truth is that God WAS there!
He is always there!
In the darkest moments of our life. In the upside down circumstances that frighten us. In the overwhelming events that leave us feeling alone and abandoned. In the times when we feel afraid, helpless and all hope seems to be gone. He was there!
He saw the very shape of your crisis. He felt the weight of it as it settled upon your life, as it crushed your very being. He could hear it as it began to break your heart. He sensed your fears, frustrations and feelings in that very moment. He was there!
He knew the exact size of the wrecking ball that hit your life with a thud. He felt it as you were knocked to the ground. He understood when your world fell apart. He knew in advance that things in your life might never be the same. He was there!
He knew your heart would be broken. He knew that the phone call would come during breakfast with your friends and interrupt the laughter. He knew that the car accident would happen that very afternoon. He knew just how your doctor would phrase his diagnosis that needed to be delivered to your listening ears. He was there!
He knew how your boss was going to explain your job away from you. He knew how your arms would tremble as you stood reading that note left by a loved one. He knew what horrid pictures you would discover on your computer screen. He knew who would be standing on the other side of the door when you opened it. He knew the numbing pain you felt as you stood at the graveside. He knew the pain of your circumstances that just rocked your world. He knew! He was there!
But, in that moment of your crisis, there is something else that He knew.
He knew that you needed for Him to draw near to you. He knew that you wanted Him to hold you tight and just let you cry. He knew to lovingly wipe away your tears. He knew you wanted Him to take away your fear. He knew that you needed His help and comfort. He knew to be gentle in the words He spoke to you. He knew in the midst of your pain, that He would whisper to you, “My child, I am right here with you!” He knew!
He knew that when He reminded you of His presence, when He began to give you His love, His strength, His peace and His hope, then you would collapse into His arms. He knew that He would offer you a safe place of refuge; a place to abide with Him during the course of the storm that raged in your life. He knew that He would carry you through the circumstances. He knew that He would set your feet, once again, upon solid ground. He knew!
He knew that it wasn’t lunchtime. In the midst of your darkest moment, He never left you. He was in those circumstances with you. He was waiting for the right moment to speak, to act, to perform that miracle, to provide that blessing, to bring encouragement. He waited for you to acknowledge His presence with you. He was there with you!
He knew that His child needed Him. He knew! God knew all about your life event. He knew all about His child.
He knew! Because, He was there! He was right there with YOU!
“Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance. O my God, my soul is cast down within me; therefore I will remember You from the land of the Jordan, and from the heights of Hermon, for the Hill Mizar. Deep calls to deep at the noise of Your waterfalls; all Your waves and billows have gone over me. The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime, and in the night His song shall be with me – a prayer to the God of my life. I will say to God my Rock, why have you forgotten me? Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy? As with a breaking of my bones, My enemies reproach me, while they say to me all day long, ‘Where is your God?’ Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God.” Psalms 42:5-11 (NKJV)
I saw her in the hospital’s surgical waiting room. My eyes were drawn to the woman in the corner of the room, sitting alone, crying. I really wanted to go to her right then, but someone was waiting for me; someone who desired to sit with me while my husband was having surgery. This someone could only stay for a little while as work was calling for their attention. I appreciated the fact that someone loved me enough to come and sit with me so I wouldn’t have to sit alone. But still, my eyes were drawn to the woman in the corner of the room, sitting alone, crying.
The surgical waiting room was populated with plenty of comfortable chairs, sets of tables and chairs, many of which were occupied by a person waiting. Several televisions within the large space were vying for one’s attention. The noise from them was a little distracting, but then, perhaps those waiting really wanted that kind of distraction. A person could watch the news, or over there, on the other side of the room, was displayed a fitness and health program. One television had a children’s cartoon playing. Two children sat close by, quietly laughing together at what they were watching. I would have enjoyed watching the cartoon with them in an attempt to totally take my mind away from the present circumstances, if only for a few moments. Their laughter made me chuckle to myself. One man sat all alone, by the window, working diligently on a crossword puzzle. There was a family huddled together, sharing memories, laughing at pictures collected on their phones. Right in the middle of the room was a fairly large group of people, circled around two people who were standing in the middle. They were all holding hands and praying together. One young mother sat with her young boy, who couldn’t have been more than 8 or 9 years of age. She comforted her son in her arms, as he softly sobbed, asking, “Is Daddy going to be okay?” Another lady, sat reading a book, her face bearing a widening smile and then a audible chuckle; obviously responding to what she was reading. I turned around to see an older couple come into the room. The wife, fussing over her husband, telling him where to sit and that “it will be just a few moments before they call you back.” I loved the compassionate look of love that the husband gave to his wife, as he patted her hand. He gently reassured her, “You are going to be just fine as you wait. I will be in the good hands of my surgery team. We will be back together soon.” I smiled at the preciousness of that relationship. I watched as a volunteer worker came to get a young man, whose girlfriend had surgery and was coming out of the recovery area. “You can come with me sir, I will take you back to your party and together you can prepare to take her home.” All of the sudden I realized that my “party” was waiting for me. I went over to where they were sitting, hugs were exchanged. I then sat down and we started talking. But still, my eyes were drawn to the woman in the corner of the room, sitting alone, crying.
It didn’t seem like that long before a volunteer came for me. “The doctor will meet with you now and tell you how your husband’s surgery went. Would you like to follow me?” She led me to a little room, where after a few moments the doctor came to tell me the details of the surgery and to give me the assurance, “Everything went well.” Hubby was moved to recovery and I would have some more time to wait. My “party” excused themselves saying that they had to get to work. We hugged and I thanked them for the time they had spent with me, waiting together. I walked back into the main waiting area, and once again, my eyes were drawn to the woman in the corner of the room, still sitting alone, and still crying.
This time I walked right over to her, sat down in the chair beside her and placed my hand upon her shoulder. “I’m sorry to bother you, but…” I gently said to her. Without any hesitation, she welcomed me. “Oh, you are not bothering me,” she said as she wiped the tears from her eyes. I handed her another tissue and said, “I have been watching you for some time, but couldn’t come over to you until now. Do you mind if I ask – – Are you alright?”
With tear stained eyes, she looked me in the face. I couldn’t help but notice just how tired this dear lady appeared. She cleared her throat and introduced herself. I then told her my name and a little something funny about me and hospital waiting rooms. We both laughed. Instantly I felt like we had known each other forever. The conversation that pursued was precious, as two people came together in the beginnings of a new friendship. We were comrades in waiting. Both of us were waiting for our husbands to have their surgeries, spend their time in recovery and hopefully not have to wait a long time before they were sent to their rooms for the night of observation and care.
In the course of our conversation, my new friend asked me a series of questions. Prior to asking her questions, she had shared that her husband had been ill for a long time, had many surgeries and this one, well, it was “the last hope” of any help for him. My heart just ached for this dear lady as I listened to her story. No wonder she was crying. It just broke my heart that she had to sit there all alone. I wrapped my arms about her. We cried together.
After a few moments, through the tears, the questions began.
I held her in my arms, her body shaking with her sobs. As I tried to comfort this dear woman, sitting alone in the corner of the room, I began to pray. Out loud, I prayed for my new friend.
“What are you doing?” she said as our tear-stained faces met. “I’m praying to the God of all hope! I’m asking the God that I know, the God who has given me hope in many dreadful circumstances, to meet you right here in this surgical waiting room. I’m asking God to wrap His loving arms around us both and give us comfort, peace and hope for the situations we both find ourselves in. I’m asking God to be your light at the end of the tunnel, to be the One who wipes away all your tears, to be your source of hope.”
She sat silently, looking right at me, but not responding. Perhaps she was pondering over what I had said. I was hoping that I hadn’t offended her. Finally, she calmly and gently said, “No one has ever prayed for me like that before. Thank you! Is your God really the source of hope? Can you keep on praying for me?”
I started praying again, out loud, to the God I know so well, who was listening at that very moment to my heartfelt prayer. God was present in the corner of that surgical waiting room, and He brought comfort and peace to this dear lady. For the next hour, we prayed. We cried. We talked about God, about His great love, about His Son, Jesus Christ, and about hope. Together, we talked to God. There was an indescribable preciousness to that conversation. One I will never forget.
Truth of the matter is this, my dear blog reader. Every one of us are faced with difficult times when we wonder what happened to hope. We might face seasons of disappointment, bouts of depression, periods of despair, cycles of doubts and questions. These can come as a result of health issues, job loss, financial stresses, family difficulties, relationship battles, or any other major experience that life likes to throw at us.
We have all been, or will be at some point of life, in the place where we search for hope. We will be in the place where we wonder what we did wrong, or where we question the circumstances, or where we feel like the tunnel just got very dark. We find ourselves asking, “Where is God now?” or “What happened to hope?”
The Psalmist faced a time like that. In Psalms 42:6, we have recorded for us the Psalmist’s cry to God, as he searched for hope. He writes, “O my God, my soul is cast down within me.” I can assure you that God heard that cry! We aren’t told what the circumstances were; we don’t really need to know. Yet, we can relate, can we not? I know I can. I’ve been there. Many times. I’ve been in the midst of circumstances when all I could do is cry. I’ve been in the midst of troubled times when I simply didn’t know what to do next. I’ve been in the pit of despair and depression when I was certain that pit would swallow me whole. I’ve been in the tunnel when it suddenly went dark. Very dark. No glimmer of light was to be seen. There was no hope of it ever shining again. Hopelessness became my shroud. I understand what that feels like.
And yet. . .
I craved for hope! I needed hope! I had to find hope!
It is within that very moment – that moment of searching for hope – that we can turn to the God of all hope. The Psalmist said it well, in three simple words, “Hope in God!” God is the source of our hope.
You see, God meets us in the darkness of our circumstances. He knows when we feel all alone. He sees our tears. He hears our cries of anguish. He comforts us with His peace. He is the light at the end of our tunnel. He is our source of HOPE!
So, how do we tap into this source of HOPE? How can we bring HOPE into our difficult circumstances that life throws at us? I would like to suggest four things that will lead us closer to the source of HOPE:
Hang on to what you already know about God and believe that He is with you. You don’t have to know everything about God, to know that He wants to bring you hope in the midst of your difficult circumstances. God is simply waiting for you to call out to Him. He will be right there with you. In fact His promise to you is this: “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5). Even if you don’t acknowledge His presence, He is there. Even if you can’t talk to Him or don’t know what to say, He is there. Even if you’ve never talked to Him before, He is there. He is there for YOU! He is your source of Hope!
Open your heart to the fact that God wants to use your present circumstances (no matter how bad you think they are) for your good and for His glory. Yes, it is true, our bad circumstances in life can actually be used for good in our life. It is through the bad, difficult, or hard times of life that we turn toward God. And that is a really good thing for us to do. It is at these times, that we can learn a lot of good lessons, like character development, dependence upon God, patience, self-control, understanding of others, forgiveness and the list goes on. We learn valuable lessons during our difficult circumstances that we could never learn any other way. We can carry these lessons with us throughout the rest of our lives, using them to help us the next time we are facing difficult circumstances. We can even use the lessons that we learn to help and encourage others who are going through the same kind of difficulty. God receives glory through our circumstances when we have a heart that seeks after Him. God receives the glory when we allow Him to do His perfect work in our heart during that time. As we open our hearts to God, during our difficult circumstances, He shows us more of who He is and what He can do. Through our open heart, God is glorified!
Pour your heart out to God often in prayer. Learn to talk to God during your difficult times. Talk with Him often. He will always be listening. While He already knows all about your needs and your circumstances, He still takes great delight in hearing from you. Every time you begin to pour your heart out to God, in blatant honesty, we open the door for God to do His perfect work in our life, in our heart, and in our circumstances. Every time you begin to pour your heart out to God, you will be reminded of His presence with you. He is there in the peace that comes to your heart. He is there in the people who come alongside you to offer assistance and help. He is there in the provisions that come your way to meet your needs. He is there in every comforting hug, in every word of encouragement, and in every prayer that is offered up on your behalf. Every time you begin to pour your heart out to God in prayer, He is there for YOU. Allow Him to embrace you with His great love. Receive His love with open arms and a welcoming heart. Embrace the light that He brings to your darkness. Hang on to the HOPE He offers you.
Expect an answer to your prayer, to your cry, to your heartache, to your search for hope. God will answer! Perhaps not always in the way, or in the manner that you might expect. But He will answer. In His perfect timing. In His perfect ways. And in His perfect means. His answer to you will be perfect, because the God who is answering is perfect. He’s a Sovereign God and He knows what He is doing on your behalf. During your difficult circumstances, you can trust Him. He knows what He is doing in and through your circumstances. And while you wait for His answer, hang on to the HOPE that He is offering you.
I saw her in the hospital’s surgical waiting room. My eyes were drawn to the woman in the corner of the room, sitting alone, crying. The God of all HOPE met her in that corner. He wiped away her tears!
Book Recommendation – –
I just finished reading an excellent book about hope that I recommend to anyone who is searching for hope in the midst of life’s difficult circumstances. It will give you lots of “food for thought” and inspire you to seek after hope until you find it.
The book is: Hunting Hope: Dig Through the Darkness to Find the Light. Written by Nika Maples. Published by Worthy Inspired.