We all shed them from time to time. Seems like lately I’ve been shedding more than my fair share of them. Morning. Noon. Night. And every time in between. The tears just flow.
I stand at the graveside of my dear mom, whom I lost just a few months ago, and there the tears overtake my soul. I miss my mom! I stand at the grocery store getting ready to buy watermelon popsicles and I burst into tears as I remember that they were the last thing that my mom was able to eat. I stand in worship of my God and begin to sing “Great is Thy Faithfulness” and I cannot finish, for this was my mom’s favorite song. I stand in the shower allowing my tears to mix with the water upon my skin as my body convulses with heart wrenching sobs. I don’t like grief! The tears just flow.
About a month after her passing, I was sorting out some cards and letters in my desk and found a birthday card that my mom sent to me. Seeing her handwriting made me cry. Realizing that I would never get another birthday card from her again made me cry. Reading a letter from her, written at the time I was a missionary teacher in Scotland, brought yet even more tears to my eyes. Baking cookies reminds me of mom. Working in my garden reminds me of mom. Seeing a needlepoint picture she made for me hanging on the wall brings back memories mixed with tears. Fixing a cup of tea and wishing I could share another “cuppa” with my mom brings on the tears as I remember many a conversation together over a cup of tea. I miss those chats. Little things. Memories. Pictures. More memories. Favorite sayings, bible verses, songs, movies, and more. More memories. The tears just flow.
I have not been able to write my blog for several months now. Oh, I have plenty that I would like to say. But the words are hard to find. The thoughts flee from my brain too quickly. The grief overtakes my heart. The tears just flow.
Yet, through the grief, heartache and tears, I know I am being comforted by the “God of all comfort” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). I know that He sees my tears! I also know that He understands my tears! I know that my tears matter to Him!
He sees my tears! Each and every one. I love the fact that I do not have to hide my tears from Him. God knows my heart, my grief, my great loss and He longs to comfort me. He is comforting me! In ways I never thought possible, God is my God of comfort. When the tears begin to flow, I feel His presence. I know He is there. No words are needed. The tears just flow. And that is enough. For God sees my tears!
He understands my tears! My God of all comfort knows that this heart is broken. He knows I’m grieving. He sees the same memories that I do, and He understands what my heart is feeling in that moment. He knows what triggers the tears to flow. He knows what crazy yet simple things will set me off in a shower of tears. He totally understands those crazy yet simple things. And the best part is this: He understands, better than anyone else, what will bring me comfort. He meets me at my point of need and gives me exactly what I need in that moment. He will even eat chocolate ice cream with me (the best ever comfort food!). He understands my tears!
My tears matter to Him! Not one tear will fall without His notice. Not one tear will be shed without His concern. Tears matter to my God of all comfort. My tears matter. No matter how often they are shed, or how intensely they fall, my tears matter.
The Psalmist David wrote about tears: “You number my wanderings; put my tears into Your bottle; are they not in Your book?” (Psalm 56:8 NKJV). I don’t know about you, but I need to picture that.
The God of all comfort, loves and cares about me enough in my time of grief that He sees every tear that I shed and He collects them in a bottle. Every teardrop is a reminder of His love and care. My tears are precious to my God of all comfort! Why?
Oh, I have been asking that question a lot lately. Perhaps I just have a hard time believing that God would care that much about little old me. At times, when I am crying, I feel unworthy of His comfort. Perhaps I can not wrap my head around that truth because I was always taught “be strong, don’t cry!” That’s just bad advice. That kind of advice should never be given to someone who has a need to cry. Never! There are times when we need to cry. There are times when we want to cry. There are times that other people in our lives just need to let us cry. God does! He knows our need to cry. He knows our desire to cry, and He especially loves it when we cry out to Him. He allows us time to cry. Each and every tear we shed is important to Him, that’s why He lets us cry. Each and every tear is a tremendous reminder that there is a God who loves us and is waiting to comfort us in our time of crying. We need to cry!
Maybe God collects our tears in a bottle because what matter to us matters to Him! It matters to God that my mom died. She was His child too and He loved her just as much as He loves me. He loves my family even more than my mom did and He loves to comfort us all in our sorrow and tears.
My broken, grieving heart matters to Him. He does not love that some experience had to break my heart. But He loves what happens in my heart when it is broken. My heart is open, moldable, empty and desperate for Him. When I give God my broken heart, my poured out tears, and my soul’s grief, He fills that heart with more of Himself. He collects my tears. He mends my broken heart. He pours on His comfort. He transforms my grief. He turns my heartache into hope. He restores my soul.
My tears matter to my God of all comfort!
I am so blessed by that truth. Blessed to have a God who loves and cares for me that much. Blessed to be able to shed my tears unashamedly in His presence. Blessed by His comfort.
The tears just flow!
Each one collected in a bottle by the God of all comfort!